“Where are your socks?” “Put on a sweater!” “Don’t eat that!” “Dry your hair before you go outside!” “Don’t you talk back to me!” “Wait till I call your father!” “Pick up this mess!” “You’re not going out dressed like that are you?” Just another morning encounter with my well-meaning Mama.I so enjoy these moments together. …
Can Reindeer Be Jewish?
I am paying the pricefor keeping my childrenindoorstoday bycounting to 400 during catch bywiping drool and cheese crackers off of the leather couches bybreaking up a Mack Truck Mid-day Standoff byfielding questionssuch as “Can We Play Catch Again?” “Can I Have More Chocolate?” “When Will Daddy Get Home?” “Can Reindeer Be Jewish?” To which I replied:…
Be Nice to Your Kids. They May Be Changing Your Diapers One Day.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from caring for my elderly grandmother, it’s that old folks are deceptively heavy. Especially naked. When trying to give them a shower. If there’s another thing I’ve learned, it’s to start sucking up to your kids. Now. Because it’s never to early to begin planning for that stage in your life…
Sort of Like Going to Hawaii But Actually Totally Not the Same
6:00 a.m. the internal alarm clock forces me out of bedthough i have made sure the curtains are all but glued shut. Cold pizza packed for husband’s lunchHalf Caff sloppily tossed into leaking coffeemakermeowing cats fed, strong aroma illicits mental note to change litterboxloving hug from firstborn leaves wet mark, prompting bathtime to be moved…
Days Go By
You know those days………………………… When you wake up in the morning and the house smells like coffee? When you step on the scale and the number is lower than it’s been in weeks and you step on it again just to be sure and its still shows the lower number? When you only need a…
8. But Whose Counting?
I shushed you in the hallway this morningand hissed “shut up” as you opened your mouthbecause Superman was sleeping off a high fever and you were being loud so you whispered “Happy Anniversary” and I felt like the world’s biggest assand the luckiest girl in the whole wide worldall in the same breathwhile we giggled and…
The First of Many, I’m Sure…..
Whew. Just got done giving Superman his very first lecture. As in, “park your keister on the couch and listen up little dude…..” So.I have come to the following conclusions: 1. Best Husband Ever is definately the bad cop2. I am definately the SappyMommyIforgiveyoubaby cop3. Giving lectures? Waaaaaaaaay more fun than getting them. Watch out Superman. It’s on.