I keep hearing the same crap. “Autism is not a disease.”“Autism is not a disorder.”“People with Autism are simply different.” I get it.I do. I think (though at times it’s debatable) that we are all entitled to our own opinions, no matter how idiotic yours may be. Sorry. I haven’t fully reached the level of acceptance yet. …
He Says, She Says
He tells her she looks beautifulShe blushes, though she’s heard this from him before He lays his hand on her lap in the carShe feels the warmth penetrate through her bones He holds the door open for herShe feels like a million bucks He winces as she reads the nutritional information from the menuShe changes…
Try Saying That Ten Times Fast
Apparently, I don’t have enough to write about(insert sarcastic eye roll here)because today I was officially diagnosed with a new, fun and exciting disorder that will make me the most in-demand guest at otherwise boring get-togethers: Partygoer: “Hey, look, it’s Jo! The Woman of Many Disorders! I bet she’ll have something interesting to add to…
Get Me Off This Roller Coaster!
It first happened in the summer of 2007, after a transatlantic flight to my beloved Poland. I had taken this flight many times in my late teens and early twenties, but this time there were some significant differences. 1. I wasn’t drunk and spending all of my vacation money on Tommy Girl perfume and cartons…
Leave a Message After the Beep
Saturday, January 30, 2010 12:00 p.m – Phone rings“Hello?’“Hi. Did you just call me?”“No, Mom”“Oh. Well it says I missed a call. It says unknown number.”“Mom, I’m not an unknown number.”“Okay, bye.” 12:05 p.m. – Phone rings“Hello?”“Hi. It’s me again. I will pick Superman up from Polish school.”“Thanks mom.”“Also, please go outside to breathe the…
Thank Heaven For Little Boys
A little bit nostalgiaa little bit pmsI stare at my son’s latest artworkcrookedly hanging above my bedframeand cry a cry usually reserved forjob lossfood poisoningbad haircutsthe crooked two-wheeled truckwith an American Flag paint jobthe kind of picture a momwould confidantly pit againstVan Gogh or RenoirI think about his two front teethso loose and crooked I want…
But Wait! There’s More!
Superman has discovered Informercials. In other words, Dammit.Instead of getting up when his favorite show is being interrupted by the latest plea to purchase some oddball invention, he sits in front of the television, mesmerized by the possibilities being presented by someone who always sounds as if his Immodium has worn off and he’s on…