If there’s another thing I’ve learned, it’s to start sucking up to your kids.
Because it’s never to early to begin planning for that stage in your life when the house plant in the corner is definately the same thing as a flushing toilet and the oatmeal makes it directly into your mouth 1 out of 5 times.
Someone has to keep you from putting the hemmorhoid cream in the wrong place.
Someone has to keep you smelling pretty and not like, well, an old person.
Someone has to tuck those droopy boobies back into that heavy duty bra before they come loose and maim a loved one.
So take heed dear friends, and maybe buy an extra christmas present or ten for your future caretakers this holiday season.
Or you could raise them Catholic, like we do, and guilt them into service.
Because I don’t know about you, but I would much rather give family members the pleasure of scrubbing all of those hard to reach places than waste such a joyous opportunity on a big-boned nurse with a moustache wearing pastel scrubs named Griselda.