When you wake up in the morning and the house smells like coffee?

When you step on the scale and the number is lower than it’s been in weeks and you step on it again just to be sure and its still shows the lower number?

When you only need a little makeup because your skin is glowing and you look radiant and refreshed?

When lunchtime comes and you don’t feverishly fiend high-glycemic-index-only-foods?

When your grandmother isn’t putting on five layers of sweaters and all of her jewelry because she is convinced she is in the wrong house and you need to take her to the right one RIGHT NOW and she points her cane at you like if she could she would chase you down and beat you all the way back to Poland with it?

When your bank account has more money in it than you know what to do with and you can stop into Target and drop a couple of c-notes on crap you don’t need just because you feel like it?

When your children are perfectly coiffed and take the kind of Christmas Card photo that would make God himself weep in wonder at how he was able to create such two handsome well-behaved boys?

When your bra is too tight in the cup area and not the circumference area?

When you crave Kale instead of Chocolate?

When the dishwasher is secretly a Transformer who cleans the kitchen while you are away at work?

When you don’t forget to call the school bus dispatch office to cancel bus service for your child because he is sick, so that the bus driver doesn’t have to drive all the way up the mountain you live on and then resent you for the rest of the year and never show up on time again and refuse to give your child the window seat for the duration of the school year?

When you aren’t buying McDonalds Happy Meals on the way home just to keep those minature people who run your life from setting your hair on fire while you sleep?

Ya.

There are those days.

Then
there are the days
you’re just happy
you didn’t forget
to wipe.