New Girl and Netflix Make for a Happy Thanksgiving

A few months ago my husband approached me and uttered six words that gave me instant chills: “Let’s get rid of our cable.” As someone who loves her tv I was mortified at the thought. I may have inserted some choice four-letter expletives as a response to his insane suggestion. That’s when he broke down [...]

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Special Needs People Deserve Umbrellas Too

It poured rain here in Orange County today. (And suddenly everyone forgets how to drive. But that’s another story, for another day). Anyway, it was early afternoon and I was driving home from class when I saw a group of special needs adults walking down the sidewalk with who I presumed were their aides or [...]

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Long After

Long after he takes two timid steps up to his seat Long after he is buckled in next to his aide Long after I blow him one last kiss Long after the doors are closed and the driver pulls away from the house Long after the van rounds the corner and there is no one [...]

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Sometimes He’ll Need a Hug. And Sometimes He’ll Need a Hammer.

It was the first time since her death that defiance flashed across his face   he was tired. tired of goodbyes. tired of the tears. tired of having to reach for tissues every time a bittersweet memory invaded his little heart.   He was tired of all the grown-ups trying to explain something they didn’t [...]

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Brave. Valiant. Strong.

My grandmother. She’s very sick. The prognosis, it’s not good. Back in 2008, on New Year’s Day, I was the one who found her on the floor of the bathroom, a massive stroke claiming her body as she lay there helpless and scared. As I held her in my arms and heard the distant wail [...]

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I Drove Drunk Again.

I drove drunk again. I lie here, in my bed, trying to piece together the shattered details of an ordinary night gone straight to hell. I remember swerving. Closing one eye so I could focus on the blurry road in front of me. Did I hit something? Or worse, did I hit someone? I know [...]

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“What’s Wrong with Him?” is Better Than “He Doesn’t Exist.”

  We were just wrapping up our evening and putting our leftovers into our to-go boxes when she made her way towards me, her cheeks flushed, her eyes hinting at her humiliation. “I’m so sorry,” she said. At least, that’s what I thought I heard her say. We were at a local pizza joint with [...]

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Happy Birthday to My Kid and Some Other Stuff

I’ve spent the last several hours sitting on my living room couch, pouring over photos of my children, my husband, my family and friends. My youngest son, Ian, turns 10 today, and nostalgia has filled up my heart and mind, as I struggle to accept how quickly time has passed, knowing it will continue to [...]

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Even if He Asks for the Moon….

What do you do when your non-verbal special needs child uses his speech device (in Andrew’s case an iPad mini featuring Proloquo2Go) to make a very specific request first thing in the morning? Why, you change your plans, pack your crap, and reinforce the hell out of his amazing communication via miraculous technology! Yesterday morning [...]

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Strong like Saints. Right?

We are told we are strong. That God chose us. That special kids go to special parents. We are commended, complimented, compared to saints. When society isn’t judging us in Target stores, it’s perching us upon dangerously high pedestals against our will, pedestals that prove wobbly on even the best of days. And we do [...]

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