“Mom?” “Yes sweetheart?” “When is the ring of fire coming?” “Excuse me?” “You know, the ring of fire that’s going to come and burn everything down and make the earth explode into a million pieces and turn people into ash and then the poison will come down from the sky and whoever is still alive…
Spelling Can Be Hazardous to Your Health
Every Monday Ian’s teacher (who is a dear friend and who I absolutely adore) emails the parents the spelling words the kids must practice that week. I don’t make a huge fuss about it, partly because Ian is brilliant and really doesn’t need the practice, but mostly because I’m too damn lazy and don’t wanna. …
And Then She Made Me Face the Truth, (That B***).
I bring him with me, stuffed up and home from school, instead of cancelling, because the last time I had to call last minute, I was charged $150.00 (turns out I had signed some sort of contract about that. Darn that fine 14 pt. New Romans print) I take off his shoes, knowing he will…
Son of a Biscuit
I fell down the stairs last night while giving Ian a piggy back ride. I slipped and fell backwards and Ian hit the edge of one of the stairs with the middle of his back. But enough about him. In an attempt to spare him having all **5 pounds of mommy landing on top of…
No Wonder Grown-ups Are So Grumpy
So I’ve got this new gig as a freelance columnist with OC Moms for the Orange County Register. I’m not sure, but I might have mentioned it. Once or twice. I’m also doing some behind-the-scenes stuff for them, such as editing blog posts, scheduling content, and marveling at the fact that I have access to…
Kismet or Coincidence? Neither, actually.
So our Valentine’s Day was pretty mellow this year. And by mellow I mean that Mikey went to work and I spent the day covering five hundred strawberries in chocolates, tying ribbons on last-minute teacher gifts, dropping children off, running to the store for steak, setting the table for dinner, attending back-to-back classroom parties, eating…
A Discussion Over Dinner
“Hi honey. How was your day?” “Oh man. It was brutal.” “Really? I’m so sorry to hear that. Tell me all about it.” “Well, it started off okay, until I was notified that someone was trying to take over part of my account.” “Oh no!” “Yeah. The guy tried to recruit some of my guys and was…