So our Valentine’s Day was pretty mellow this year.  And by mellow I mean that Mikey went to work and I spent the day covering five hundred strawberries in chocolates, tying ribbons on last-minute teacher gifts, dropping children off, running to the store for steak, setting the table for dinner, attending back-to-back classroom parties, eating back-to-back cupcakes, and spending the rest of the afternoon nursing what some may refer to as a diabetic coma.

We had a nice family meal and adopted my mom (dad is in Singapore on business), my sister (single, and looking!), and my grandmother (single since 1943, and looking…….for her dentures!) as our Valentine Orphans (catchy title, huh?  May even trademark that).  We all exchanged little goodies and cards, and had a magnificent time. At least I think we did.  I was still in that diabetic coma.

When my husband and I opened up the cards we got for one another (yes, we do get roped into this Hallmark holiday, so suck it), we were pleasantly surprised when we realized we had gotten the exact same ones!

 “I’m Blessed to Have you for a Husband/Wife” 
“Even when it seems the days just get more hectic and theres always some new worry or stress….blah blah blah blah.”

My husband declared it one more sign that we were soulmates, and we high-fived across the table, glowing with love and excitement.

The truth is, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that this card was the one I had settled for, when the one that I was actually looking for, the one I really really wanted to get for him because it summed up perfectly what I felt for him, the one I spent days hunting for, wasn’t anywhere to be found:

To My Husband:

When you leave your shoes, scattered all over the floor, because the shoe closet is a whole ten freakin feet away
it makes me want to scratch my eyes out

When you give the boys a haircut and then leave the little hairs stuck in the sink, on the toilet, on the floor, and in the soap dish
it makes me want to stick my hand in the blender.  On high.

If you ever want me to put out again, wash a #$%!!! dish once in a @#$!! while.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

*Thank you honey, for being such a good sport.  You are an amazing husband and father, but that’s just not that funny, you know?*

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