Sitting keeping your distanceas he flies a kitefor the very first timeholding tightto the stringfor somesuch a little thing for you the kind of normalyou only get to tasteevery once in a little while effortlessly he outruns the wind unknowingly filling you with love and light as you try to capture his essence through a…
It All Boils Down to the Right Fork
Growing up, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. A wife. I was so determined to make this happen, that when my mom’s brother, my crazy Uncle Ted, finally decided to tie the knot, I made him an offer he thankfully refused. “Marry me!” I shrieked, my cheeks tear stained…
Crap I Didn’t Know Until I Became A Mom
In no particular order, a sample of the kind of wisdom that is bestowed upon mothers everywhere, usually sometime between the last push and high school graduation. It is, much like our most coveted role as MOM, in constant progress. 1. You can get stretch marks anywhere. As in, anywhere. Go ahead. Take a look…
Can I Borrow A Dollar?
Recently, after going over some banking statements, my husband made a startling discovery: I’ve been spending all of our money. No one was more surprised than me. “Really?” I said. He gave me one of those looks that suggested I sleep with one eye open that night. So ever since he realized that I’ve been…
What Did You Just Say?!
I love teaching at the same school where Superman is a thriving first grader. Being able to sneak in hugs and kisses as he passes me on his way to art class. Watching as he outruns his friends during a game of monster tag during recess. Listening as his teacher sings his praises as a natural…
Another Name for Coward is Daniel Dorn
I want one hour in a locked room with a schmuck named Daniel Dorn.Don’t know who I’m talking about? You can read all about it here. His now ex-wife, Abbie Dorn, went into cardiac arrest and suffered brain damage while delivering their triplets four years ago. A year after her injuries were sustained, he decided to…
I Almost Had To Write This in the Bathroom
I’ve lost six pounds!In less than 48 hours!Apparently all it takes to get this mama into her favorite pair of blue jeansis a violent strain of gastrosomeoneshootmeintheassbeforeihavetogotothebathroomagain. Yesterday, during a particularly bad spell, I was leaned up against the toilet, covered in sweat, suffering from what some may describe as a total psychotic meltdown. I suggested to my…