Don’t know who I’m talking about? You can read all about it here.
His now ex-wife, Abbie Dorn, went into cardiac arrest and suffered brain damage while delivering their triplets four years ago. A year after her injuries were sustained, he decided to “move on” with this life, and filed for divorce.
I don’t begrudge him that. I cannot imagine having to care for three little ones while my spouse requires around the clock care. Even though most of us married folks exchanged vows on that blessed day that stated we will stay together “till death do us part,” unforeseen and tragic circumstances beyond our control, such as this one, can alter our good intentions and well laid plans. I can sympathize with this man wanting to focus on his babies while grieving the loss of his wife as he knew her, believing in his heart that she would never again regain the full use of her mental faculties. I do not proclaim to know the pain he endured. Nor do I ever want to.
But to not allow this young woman to have any contact with her children, whether they are recognized by the court as being legally so or not, is an unspeakable act of malice by a man who can only be described as a coward.
She will never hold them against her beating chest, whispering sweet nothings in their ears. She will never wipe their tears from their eyes as she mends a playground boo-boo. She will never read Goodnight Moon and lull them to sleep with off-key renditions of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. And no. She will never be their “legal guardian,” as defined by the courts.
But she is their Mother.
Whether she is on a feeding tube or not.
Even heroin-addicted prostitutes are given endless opportunities to screw up their kids.
This woman is being denied any contact with her children.
Has not seen them for years.
As if she has perpetrated some God-awful crime.
He claims he does not want to traumatize his children.
Children are taught to fear what they do not know by the adults in their lives.
These kids are only four years old and what they are able to tolerate and withstand outside of the bubble their father has created for them is only limited by his own misrepresentation of the circumstances.
This is a man driven by ignorance and fear. And the longer these children are kept from seeing their mother, the more likely they are to catch his awful disease.
The smell of their hair.
The twinkle in their eyes.
The sound of their unfiltered laughter.
Who is he to say that this woman is undeserving of experiencing these things? And who is he to say that she, as well as her children, will come away from such visits with nothing gained, nothing to treasure?
What disgusts me the most, is that he would probably be more comfortable allowing the children to visit her had she not survived and was buried in a local cemetery.
Dare I say, Mr. Dorn, that someday, your three preschoolers will be able to decide for themselves, just what kind of father “protects” them from their severely disabled mother.
I just want one hour dude.
Just the rage and pain of a mother unable to see her kids (on behalf of your ex-wife, of course).
You don’t stand a chance.
Thank you everyone for your comments. As of yesterday, March 25th, 2011, Abbie Dorn has been granted five supervised visitations per year, as well as the ability to “communicate” with her children via Skype. The judge noted that the children developed a bond after visiting their mom for the first time and held her photo close to them. Daniel is also to keep a photo of Abbie in the kids’ rooms as part of the court order. My heart swells with joy for Abbie, and I continue to hope and pray that with time, her visitations will increase. No matter what the future holds for Abbie, being in the presence of her precious children can only provide her with the kind of strength, hope, and love that only a mother’s heart knows. And as far as the children are concerned, being able to connect with their mom in a way that is unique to their circumstances is infinitely better than keeping them away from her because she is frightening in some way. The logic behind such thinking is what contributes to a society that believes disabled individuals are somehow less deserving and valuable than the rest of us. I pray that EVERYONE, including Daniel, find peace with this situation, so that the entire family can move forward and heal.