alcoholism

Alcoholism: I Still Sniff My Water Bottles

There’s a lot of things that changed when I got sober. I stopped waking up hungover. I stopped eating whole cloves of garlic to mask the booze on my breath before my husband got home from work. I stopped ignoring my kids. I stopped feeling hopeless and helpless and like the only thing I was [...]

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I Drove Drunk Again.

I drove drunk again. I lie here, in my bed, trying to piece together the shattered details of an ordinary night gone straight to hell. I remember swerving. Closing one eye so I could focus on the blurry road in front of me. Did I hit something? Or worse, did I hit someone? I know [...]

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Thirsty

Seven years ago today, I woke up hungover. And thirsty.   Thirsty for peace. Thirsty for answers. Thirsty for freedom from the unquenchable thirst I had for the one thing that continually left my heart and my soul parched: alcohol.   Seven years ago today, I woke up hungover. And scared.   Scared of how [...]

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Look What I Found….

I had just organized my emails by recipient while looking for something I had recently sent to my editor, when an old email to an online AA support group I had once been a member of caught my eye. The subject line is “Relapse:” well I have only posted here once i think, and i’ve [...]

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We Used to be Siblings. Now We’re Sisters.

A few months ago, while cleaning out a closet, my sister Aggie stumbled upon a piece of the past, a small shard of our lives as siblings. Folded and tucked inside a small Sanrio Keroppi tin she used to use as a piggy bank, was a note my little sister had written to me in [...]

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The Healing Nature of Conga Lines

Maybe it’s because I first felt the freedom of sobriety at a wedding. Seventeen days after my last drink, my family and I drove to Las Vegas to see my cousin get hitched. Ya. Las Vegas. The place to be when you want to stop drinking. It was there, in the grand ballroom of a [...]

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Carbs Taste Better on the Crapper

Don’t do it Jo. Don’t buy it. But it’s for the kids. You always say that, but you know you’re going to end up having most of it yourself. No I won’t. Not this time. It’s the kind of internal dialogue I used to have every time I passed by the Two Buck Chuck at [...]

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Amy Winehouse Dies at 27

Amy Winehouse is dead. I found out just a little while ago, when I sat down in front of my computer. I read the headline on my homepage and it took my breath away. And then I cried a little. She wasn’t my friend. She wasn’t even my favorite artist (th0ugh her talent was unmistakable) [...]

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To Thine Own Self Be True

I finally got my five-year chip this morning. After a hairy start to the day, my logic, the part of me that said I had a sink full of dishes, a calendar full of deadlines, a small window of time to clean and cook before the boys returned from summer school, took a backseat to [...]

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Shut.Up.

He is wiggling in his seat and not the good kind of wiggle   It’s the kind that let’s me know all hell is about to break loose   “It’s okay baby,” I purr as we pull out of the driveway but his wiggles turn to whines and I turn to the deep breathing I [...]

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