Recently I’ve noticed that I’ve passed down a lot of wonderful things to my son Ian.

His thick, wavy brown hair

His almond shaped eyes

His sweet tooth disposition

His irrational fear and obsession with death

Wait.  What?

Alas.  It’s here.  What I’ve dreaded but, given his sensitive and emotional nature, easily predicted all along: my son’s preoccupation with dying, heaven, mortality, and the bleak and horrifying prospect of the unknown.

Which only means one thing.

He’s screwed.

In the past week he’s brought up this rather uncomfortable subject matter no less than 243 times.  Given the fact that I myself suffer from this irrational and often times debilitating fear, our conversations tend to go something like this:


“Yes honey?”

“I don’t want to die.”

“Oh honey……………………………neither do I!!!!!!!!!”

I’ve also tried redirecting the conversation and subtly changing the subject:


“Yes Honey?”

“I’m afraid of heaven.”

“Ooh!  Quick!  Look over there!”

So as you can see, I’ve got a pretty good handle on things, but if you should happen to, say, think of anything that might supplement what I’ve dubbed my “Avoidance At All Costs Method,” for the love of God please help me! I’d be happy to hear your thoughts.  You know.  If you have time.  Or.  Whatever.

On the bright side, I now have a new member for my support group!

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One Reply to “Heaven Shmeaven”

  1. I have the same conversations with my son. Our conversation the other day went like this:

    Ry: " I don't want to die"

    Mom: "neither do I"

    Ry: " I wonder what it feels like to be dead"

    mom: " i wonder the same thing sometimes, but I don't want to die to find out"

    Ry: : "neither do I"

    Just had to let you know, your not alone in your death conversations.


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