“You used to be the best mommy, but not anymore. You’re not being the best mommy at all. Daddy is still the best daddy though.” The insecure, guilt-ridden, people-pleasing mommy inside of me, the one that fills my head and heart with paranoia and doubt, wants to plead with you to take it back, to promise…
I’ve Been Demoted. At Least Until the Anger Fades.
I Spent My Sunday Saving the Future. Or At Least Two Girls Being Overlooked By Their Parents.
Dear Young, Attractive, Visibly Self-Absorbed Couple: Yoohoo! I’m over here. In the private school booth, which is located directly across from the massage booth that you are standing in. What lovely little girls you have. They must be about 6, 7 years old, am I right? Oh. I see that you’re too busy to come over and…
Tonight We Will Sing Happy Birthday For the 1,356th Time This year. But Really Mean It This Time.
I imagined you a thousand timesas you rolled in my bellywhile I read Dave Barry booksand ate pancakes that resembleda mid-size sedan You signaled you were readywhile I was pumping gasinto a car that had an empty (and clean) backseatand I begged daddy to get me that giant burritobut he floored it and got me…
I Demand A Raise. Or Something.
Listen. I’m all for taking care of your kids and crap.My two are usually not hungry, not thirsty, not cold.For the most part, they’re listed as stable. They’re doing much better than my mother predicted they would when we announced that we were starting a family (and by starting a family I mean, “Hey mom,…
There Are Certain Things I Wouldn’t Want to Change
It is no secret that I loathe youand all that you take away from my little boy That he cannottell mewhen his tummy hurtsor mention his boring day at schoolrecall the scary dream he had last nightor pout at the dinner table, and tell me that he hates my cooking(I wouldn’t even care if he said that, by…
Oh Hellll No…..
The phone rang Saturday morningand I was taken abackwhen a young girl’s voiceasked to speak with Superman (sweet, innocent, six year old mama’s boy Superman) And so it begins.Me vs. The Tramps Luckilyhe was at Polish schooland after a two minute polite conversationI promised the little hussythat he would call her back when he got home…
I Swear This Post Is Not Just About Poop
Monchichi has diarreah. Hey. It’s no picnic for me. Why should I sugarcoat it for you? We are on what feels like day 56, but really it’s been about 72 hours.Today I decided to call his doctor’s office, so that I could once again be reassured that there was nothing they could do and that eventually…