As the World Turns

by Jo on August 9, 2010

As many of you know, I suffer from a bunch of crap, but one of the crappiest things is my vertigo.  Lately I’ve had the opportunity to narrow down the triggers associated with these debilitating attacks.  Knowing what to avoid will surely help me in my struggle to overcome these dizzy spells and allow me to live a more normal and productive life.  I feel so empowered already! 

After careful observation, I’ve found that the following activities should be avoided at all costs if I’m to improve the quality of my life:

Turn my head too fast
Take long car rides
Drink too much coffee
Go to the movies
Swim
Take a boat ride
Ride an escalator
Ride an elevator
Pick something up off the floor
Play Wii Fit
Lay down
Sit up
Cook
Eat
Shake my head “yes” or “no”
Blink
Scratch my left elbow
Inhale
Exhale
Get a haircut
Take a shower
Flush the toilet
Feed the cats
Pass gas
Go outdoors
Stay indoors
Get a pedicure
Fold laundry
Listen to music
Wear a bra that’s too tight
Not wear a bra
Chew sugarless gum
Watch t.v.
Shave
Sleep
Wake up
Sing “Livin La Vida Loca” in B flat
Burp
Brush my teeth
Eat carbs
and
Diet

So, it’s pretty simple really.
As long as I avoid these vertigo-inducing activities, I’ll be just fine!

And the good news is that blogging isn’t on the list!

Whoa.

Okay.  Let me rephrase that.  As long as I don’t use the following keys, I’m fine:

a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,

Of course, those keys are merely a fraction of what I use when indulging in my writing craft, and avoiding them, for the sake of my health and well being, shouldn’t affect the quality of my posts at all:

i c u.
u r poop.
c?
bye.

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