5:35 a.m.

plus

2 cranky and starving offspring

minus

4 hours of sleep

multiplied by

3 overflowing laundry hampers

divided by

0 nannies and/or housekeepers

raised to the power of

10 short order meals

carrying over the

2 cases of Impetigo

quantified by

x( “MoooooooommmmmmmyI’mBooooooooooooored.”)
___________________________________________
y(“Iswearifyoudon’tSHUTitI’mgoingtocomedownthereand….”)

equals

the

“Imayhaveglorifiedmytwoweekspringbreakjustatadandnowi’mstuckwithtwoveryneedyshortpeoplesopleasesendhelpandifyouareahorny
teenagerreadingthiskeepyourpantsonfortheloveofGodTheorem.”

I think this kind of math is way more useful to the 13-19 year old crowd; Algebra II just doesn’t give the whole picture, you know?

I tell ya.

Give me enough time and I can solve just about anything via a horrifying glimpse joyous illustration of motherhood.