When the waitress came by our table last night at the comedy club and I asked for hot tea, she stared at me like I was suffering from a very debilitating mental disorder.

Which I am, but that’s for another time and place.

I know they want you good and loaded so that you laugh harder and spend all of your unemployment money on overpriced drinks with names like “Come with Friends, Leave with A Stranger,” and “You’ll End Up In a Dark Alley In Mexico After Drinking This,” but what about those of us who prefer not to go to jail and stay sober?

To be fair they had Lemon Snapple, but what I really wanted was some Earl Grey Tea.
No. Not with Crumpets.
But a blueberry scone would have been nice.

My disappointment was quickly eradicated when these guys got up on stage and I spent the next two hours trying not to pee my pants (and not because I had too much “You’ll Be Licking the Backside of Our Toilet on the Rocks.”)

There was a spelling bee and a pink tutu, a ping pong match and marital counseling, an R rated children’s show and some underwear that redefined the term “Too Much Information.”

In other words, a comedy show not everyone should see.

And by not everyone I mean those of you who prefer to walk through life with a gigantic pole stuck up your keister.

But perfect for those of you like my sister and I, who cook Sunday dinner impersonating Paula Deen, complete with Southern accents and imaginary cameras in the kitchen.

What. That’s not weird, is it?

A Pair of Nuts.

Two Nutty Cubans making the world a better place one pink tutu at a time.