Polish women across the globe lost a little street cred today as it was announced that the now infamous news story about a jilted Polish dentist pulling out her ex-lover’s teeth during an appointment for a toothache was all……a LIE.
I have to be honest, I’m a bit disappointed to hear this. Ever since the story broke a few weeks ago, I’ve noticed my husband has been keeping his tools and other sharp objects out of view, has been extra sweet and thoughtful, and has made a conscious effort to be more helpful around the house.
Of course, I can only attribute this to one thing: Fear. Clearly this news story hit home for him as he realized that Polish women are not to be f-ed with. We’re great in the kitchen, even better in the sack, (we know our way around a sausage if you know what I mean) but if you betray our trust or break our hearts, we unleash our inner psychos and teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget.
Such as teeth are easily expendable.
I’ve rather enjoyed all the sideways glances from friends and acquaintances as we’ve discussed this story together. It’s like they’re all thinking, “Jo’s Polish. I wonder if she could do such a thing? I wonder if ALL Polish women are a bit off their rockers?”
And the short answer to that is, “You bet your Pierogi.”
But now, as the truth emerges that this was all just a big fat joke, I can’t help but feel a bit deflated.
Yesterday I had the potential to do something crazy and unpredictable.
Today, I’m just another Polish-American woman, full of respect for her Motherland, love for her husband and children, and the inherited ability to make magic with sauerkraut.