“Yes sweetheart?”

“When is the ring of fire coming?”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, the ring of fire that’s going to come and burn everything down and make the earth explode into a million pieces and turn people into ash and then the poison will come down from the sky and whoever is still alive will be poisoned to death and their guts will spill out all over the place and their eyes will fill with blood and whoever is still alive after that will go to Walmart and steal television sets.”


“Mom, just tell me the truth.  I already know it’s real, because Seth saw the whole thing on tv last night with his parents and he came to school and told us everything because he watches the news all the time and he said we need to buy special pills and did you buy the pills yet mom? Did you? And he said that the news also said that there are airplanes filled with bombs flying around and that baby seals are being kidnapped and sold in the black market and that the price of tar heroin is on the rise and he knows EVERYTHING mom.”


It’s called The Disney Channel, people.

Try it sometime.

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2 Replies to “CNN Does Not Stand For Children’s News Network”

  1. I think its too much for adults too… be careful of what the news feeds you people.

  2. Oh my GOD! I'm sorry but I totally cracked up. Not that I want your kids to hear that kind of stuff but the rambling of information… it is so like my husbands nephew, it just killed me.

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