My best friend had her tonsils out this morning.

The days leading up to the procedure were nerve wracking for her, since the doctor told her that for an adult, the recovery time was long and excrutiating.  He even prescribed her the kind of pain pills that come with “do not share this medication with anyone” and “prolonged use may result in a heroin addiction, followed by a short-lived and unsuccessful stint in rehab” warnings.  I’m thinking she should stick with tylenol and sell the good stuff at local playgroup meetings.

So the poor thing is home now, in a lot of pain, and won’t be able to eat for days.   Her throat is swollen, she can’t talk, and her menu consists of lukewarm water with a side of spit.

And all I can think about is………….how much weight the bitch is going to lose.

So if you’ll excuse me, I have some competitive starving to do.

I know.

What are best friends for?

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5 Replies to “Say "Ahhhhhhhhh"”

  1. Fabulous Post – Love It. The next time a friend gets really sick after eating bad sushi, I won't feel so bad that I'mma secretly jealous. 😉

  2. Oh how I love your posts. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh! I'm trying to lose weight-maybe I should schedule a tonsilectomy!

  3. That made me laugh out loud, for real! Haha! But honestly, what are friends for? We'd all do the same.

  4. lol you are too funny!!!!! Did they say she could eat like jello and stuff? I had mine out as a kid (I know a while ago lol) but I lived off of jello, ice cream and yogurt.

  5. I hear that, I was all impressed when I lost 10 lbs at the altar of sleeping more than 1 hour at a time. I had a bad stomach bug and prayed to the porcelain goddess every hour until I felt my stomach crawling up my esophagus. It was a lovely 72 hours during which I got to see my food twice. Eggs, Cheerios and the always pleasant dinner from last night. I waved hello again as I flushed it down the pipes. In about as much time as it takes for me to come out of my child like "nasty go down the hole" thought to clear my head my girlfriend was hot on my heels begging for the same hand and knees to the ground position I had just performed. It was a lovely 6 days in total. One I can say is not welcome again, ever. Not even for the prospect of shedding those 10 lbs.

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