My best friend had her tonsils out this morning.
The days leading up to the procedure were nerve wracking for her, since the doctor told her that for an adult, the recovery time was long and excrutiating. He even prescribed her the kind of pain pills that come with “do not share this medication with anyone” and “prolonged use may result in a heroin addiction, followed by a short-lived and unsuccessful stint in rehab” warnings. I’m thinking she should stick with tylenol and sell the good stuff at local playgroup meetings.
So the poor thing is home now, in a lot of pain, and won’t be able to eat for days. Her throat is swollen, she can’t talk, and her menu consists of lukewarm water with a side of spit.
And all I can think about is………….how much weight the bitch is going to lose.
So if you’ll excuse me, I have some competitive starving to do.
What are best friends for?