I did something this morning that made me cringe.
It was awful.
Worse than I could have imagined.
I was miserable the entire time.
This morning, I blow dried my hair.
In front of the mirror.
And it wasn’t because I was out of towels.
People. I did it on purpose.
Right about now you may be thinking to yourself, “What the @#%#?.”
But I assure you (and myself) that my intentions were noble. I did it because I’m tired of avoiding my reflection each time I go to get in the shower. Like, I literally will not go near anything that may catch my reflection as I disrobe to bathe. It’s one thing to be fearful of judgment from others; it’s an entirely different beast when you have to shut your eyes, feel your way across the bathroom, and hope you make it to the tub without breaking your neck, or worse, accidentally getting a glimpse of that double decker @ss you’ve been so generously contributing to.
So my plan is to desensitize myself by frolicking in the nude in my bathroom a little bit each day in the hopes that
1. I learn to love, respect, and accept myself and stop all of this negative self-talk that only makes me want another serving of anything
2. my pesky and nosy neighbor will be motivated to take a couple of 2×4’s and a nail gun to his always open bedroom window because it’s one thing to have to endure my own image first thing in the morning, but I tell ya, there’s nothing purdy about a man pushing 60 attempting downward dog while you’re taking your 5 am pee.
Some people have no self-respect.