May 2010

How to Be Realistic While Holding Out for a Miracle

Monchichi was twelve months old when he really began to babble.  “mmmmmm” “bababababa” “moooooooo” They were sweet sounds for sure, but I took them for granted, because let’s face it, all kids babble right?  Had I known then, that just a few short months later silence would overtake him and plunge us into years of [...]

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Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts; Good for the Waistline, Bad for Blogging.

Did I ever tell you about the time that I was an immigrant from Poland and spent the rest of my childhood trying really hard to fit in with my American peers, while my mother continued to undermine my efforts by packing soggy Polish sausage and tomato sandwiches on rye bread which would create an [...]

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Take That You Little Turd

I took the kiddos to a birthday party yesterday without my husband.  He was stuck at home with some manual labor chores and as I pulled out of the driveway he looked absolutely miserable, holding his 12 pack of imported amber ale in one hand, a large cordless power tool in the other.  I tell ya, it [...]

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You Are Appreciated

EverydayI send my eight year son to school.Each morning, I wait outside with him for the little bus that winds its way up our hill and parks in front of the driveway.  I hug and kiss him all the way up the bus steps, handing him over to his wonderful and very competent driver at the very last [...]

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Facebook Through the Ages

Sebastion Smith Is crapping in his diaper.  Can’t wait until mom gets a “load” of this! Veronica Wellington Is sick and tired of circle time and yogurt for snacks.  Also, ran into that b*#! Astrid in the sandbox again.  She better watch it during nap time. Rob “the snake” McAllister Is Wasted!   Dude.  Beer.  Lots. Lori [...]

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Diets Do Not a Good Blogger Make

I haven’t felt like blogging much lately. Mostly it’s because I’m on a diet. It’s sort of taken away my whole will to live and also, most of my free time is spent weighing myself and graphing minute by minute changes in my @ss to waist ratio, which, according to my latest calculations, is somewhere in the [...]

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I’m Confused

So my husband stayed home sick today.  I left him this morning, in bed, watching televsion, with a box of tissues next to him and plenty of fluids, cough drops, and fluffy pillows under his head. I just got home from work and The dishes aren’t done Dinner isn’t made The laundry has not been [...]

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Thoughts On Motherhood

*I remember thinking that as a Mother, I would spend my days bestowing wisdom upon my offspring, offering them my sage advice, teaching them the ways of the world and how to navigate through it safely.  How surprising it was then, when it turned out that they were the ones teaching me about life.  Oh [...]

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The Benefits of Being Still

Sitting keeping your distanceas he flies a kitefor the very first timeholding tightto the stringfor somesuch a little thing for you the kind of normalyou only get to tasteevery once in a little while effortlessly he outruns the wind unknowingly filling you with love and light as you try to capture his essence through a [...]

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It All Boils Down to the Right Fork

Growing up, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. A wife. I was so determined to make this happen, that when my mom’s brother, my crazy Uncle Ted, finally decided to tie the knot, I made him an offer he thankfully refused.  “Marry me!” I shrieked, my cheeks tear stained [...]

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