In no particular order, a sample of the kind of wisdom that is bestowed upon mothers everywhere, usually sometime between the last push and high school graduation. It is, much like our most coveted role as MOM, in constant progress. 1. You can get stretch marks anywhere. As in, anywhere. Go ahead. Take a look…
Another Reason Why I Eat Cheese-Its at 1:00 O’clock in the Morning
Among the mystery cans and salad dressing bottles in the bedamong the in-home therapy each day after schoolthe YouTube videos on repeatthe inappropriate squeals during churchthe stims and elopement that always keep us on our toesthere is that other thing we don’t talk about quite as oftenbecause, after dosing you with what can only be described…
Can I Borrow A Dollar?
Recently, after going over some banking statements, my husband made a startling discovery: I’ve been spending all of our money. No one was more surprised than me. “Really?” I said. He gave me one of those looks that suggested I sleep with one eye open that night. So ever since he realized that I’ve been…
What Did You Just Say?!
I love teaching at the same school where Superman is a thriving first grader. Being able to sneak in hugs and kisses as he passes me on his way to art class. Watching as he outruns his friends during a game of monster tag during recess. Listening as his teacher sings his praises as a natural…
Another Name for Coward is Daniel Dorn
I want one hour in a locked room with a schmuck named Daniel Dorn.Don’t know who I’m talking about? You can read all about it here. His now ex-wife, Abbie Dorn, went into cardiac arrest and suffered brain damage while delivering their triplets four years ago. A year after her injuries were sustained, he decided to…
I’m Sorta Not Okay. I Guess.
On Sunday morning, I was awakened by my eight year old in his usual style: climbing on top of me and pulling my hair. He keeps doing it, because despite my best efforts to get him to stop, it works every time. It’s hard to sleep while someone is trying to give you a haircut using their fists.…
I Almost Had To Write This in the Bathroom
I’ve lost six pounds!In less than 48 hours!Apparently all it takes to get this mama into her favorite pair of blue jeansis a violent strain of gastrosomeoneshootmeintheassbeforeihavetogotothebathroomagain. Yesterday, during a particularly bad spell, I was leaned up against the toilet, covered in sweat, suffering from what some may describe as a total psychotic meltdown. I suggested to my…