February 2009

Yippee For Pee-Pee

There once was a boy named MonchichiWho didn’t care where he pee-peedHe wore Pull-ups all dayWould poop when he playedAnd his parents were getting all weepy His Mommy and Daddy would tryBut on the potty Monchichi would cryThey almost gave upThey had had enoughBut they wanted a bed that was dry So Daddy began againWas [...]

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Evite Etiquette

I used to take my invitations very seriously.I bought pastel cardstock and matching envelopes.I wove patterned ribbons through holes in the top and carefully tied symmetrical bows.I knew my guests loved receiving my homemade party announcements and Iprided myself on my creativity and handiwork. That is, until I went back to work, and time became [...]

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The D Word

Let me start off by saying that my thighs are still shaking. Ahhhh……got your attention now, don’t I? You are dirty! This is a wholesome blog that does not…..…..…screw it. My mind would go there too. But this is not that kind of post.This post is about something not as fun as that.This post is [...]

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Daily Checklist

Hot coffee gulped in-between morning chores: Check Half-assed makeup application: Check A million kisses before sending Monchichi to school on the bus: Check Asking Superman to “PUH-lease go and put YOUR sweater and shoes on ALREADY!”: Check Conveyor belt style lunch assembling for four: Check Wolfing down fairly healthy breakfast in 2.3 seconds flat: Check [...]

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What a Man What a Man What a Mighty Fine Man

Dearest Husband I know that you are naturally shy and would probably prefer I keep the following information private, but I have a blog now, and it’s mine, and you don’t know the password, so there. Did you really think that I would let Valentine’s Day come and go and not mention you, and our [...]

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I See You

I see you everywhere You sit next to me as I get a haircutYour body squirms as they turn on the blow dryerYour father rushes over and tells you it’s okayI want to tell you it’s okay too. I see you on the playground, walking on your toesAloneNot belonging to anyone’s gameToo clumsy to climb [...]

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Happy Thanksgiving! (Nope, Not a Typo)

This past Saturday, our crazy, loud, obnoxious family sat down for some good ol fashioned turkey and my amazing sweet potato casserole (some say it tastes more like cake, but anyhoooo) Raise your hand if you’re confused. (Did you do it? Did you actually raise your hand, sitting alone at your computer? I totally would [...]

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My Son, the Male

My son is a Male. I know what you’re thinking. Duh. He’s your SON. But, um, what I mean is, he is Malewith all of the Male partsthat he has suddenly taken to um,exploring. *sigh* I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t expect it to be at the freakin age of 5. I [...]

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Somewhere In the Middle

That is where I am I don’t petition the governmentOr write threatening letters to drug companies I don’t tape record IEP meetings or have a panel of attorneys at my sideI don’t demand that the school district pay for horse therapy or expect hard working teachers to perform miracles I stay awake at night, counting [...]

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Susan Lucci Can Kiss My Kiester

I am sitting at my laptopTrying to blog But I can’t Because out of the corner of my eyeI am staring at a contraptionI purchased in NovemberAnd have used three times When I saw the infomercialI was at once captivated and energized I looked at the buff women,Listened to their testimonialsNodded my headAnd whipped out [...]

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